Today I've felt way too many negative emotions about last night's results. I've mulled over, around, and through these emotions. I've read the feelings of others and have been validated. I've vented and had discussions and I feel like I finally understand the why behind these emotions.
I was confused in the first place because I'm not a political person. I am one of those people that feels like my vote doesn't count. I feel like I actually don't have a voice. And it doesn't bother me too much. In turn I also feel like the choices the president makes doesn't affect me. I didn't vote for Obama either time and in the last eight years he hasn't done anything to detrimentally change my life. It's a weird disconnect... shouldn't my vote count? Shouldn't the president make a difference? Anyhow...
So why am I caring so much about Trump winning? About him being our new president?
Today I realized that there are different types of voters out there. There are voters that vote based off of experience and/or morale, there are voters that are party devoted no matter what, there are voters that don't care who the candidate is... they just care about the policies he or she brings to the table. I am the voter that cares about morale. Because like I said... what the president does (policy-wise) doesn't actually personally affect me... a theory my husband and I are hoping holds true these next four years.
And so today I am sad, confused, angry, terrified, and so forth because the man that America has chosen to be the next president has very low morale. He has belittled women, Muslims, Mexicans, refugees... and HE STILL GOT ELECTED. Todd helped me put another word to what I'm feeling... I am feeling marginalized. I feel insignificant and disrespected because of the things Trump has said to and about women. He's done the same thing with Muslims and Mexicans. And 50% of voters are okay with this. Yes many of those voters could be a different type of voter than I am but that doesn't make it any more acceptable to me. Why is it okay for him to behave and speak this way?? It shouldn't be! He has now been elected and to me the message that sends to America is that it's okay to be so terribly offensive and inappropriate. It's okay cause heck he's that way and he's popular enough to be chosen by MILLIONS of people to be president! That message is not an okay message! In fact it's unbelievable! How are we seriously letting this happen??!
And that is why I've been so upset. I'm upset because there are good people out there but they're being trumped (wah wah) by the not so good people. I'm upset because I'm trying to raise good kids in all of this and it's getting stinkin' harder and harder to do. I'm upset that the adversary has such a strong grasp on the world and I feel like when looking at the big picture of it all I can't actually make a difference. I can be a good person and influence others and possibly slow down the rate at which the world is falling apart... but the fact is that the world is just going to have to end and sometimes I just want to take cover and get it over with.
Honestly I shouldn't be so surprised... the world is a messed up place. America has come a long long way and this just seems like a ginormous step backwards. The president of the United States of America is supposed to be an honorable leader that respects and cares about others. Not someone that I and many other Americans have to feel threatened by. But now here we are. It's done. And I'm not proud at all that this is who society has chosen to represent my country.
I've tried to find a light to cling to today. Something positive to take from this whole thing. And I did find something. I have been inspired by the president elect. He has inspired me to be a better citizen and to do what I can to actually make America great. I can be a respectful citizen that has high morale. I can set good example to my friends and family. I can serve others more and think and speak charitable words... starting with those I've obviously made judgement on by writing this post. I can be all of the things that I'm bummed Trump isn't. Because the fact that he got elected shows that society and the family unit needs some serious working on. That's where it all starts, right?
And so I'm going to do what I can to love everyone. I'm going to do my best to raise children that will go on to be good people with high morals. I'm going to try to rise above this new situation and show the world that hey look... I'm American and I'm not a hater!
I know that I need to be accepting of our new president and give him a chance but I'm not quite there yet. I know that I don't have a choice, he's in regardless of what I have to say about it. But couldn't we have given him a chance as like the mayor of a small rural town first before sending him straight to the top?
Okay. I'm done. There you have it. This morning I felt so horrible. Tonight I'm feeling some closure. I'll work on that accepting the new president thing.
Good night all.
