The post-baby spiritual slump.

For the last month or so I have felt prompted to do a better job of sharing my religious beliefs, especially here on my blog. Today I got yet another kick-in-the-bum reminder and so I've decided to simply write up a few things that have been on my mind lately.

Over the last few months or so I have been in a slump. I've thought about the why of this slump a lot and I think I can contribute it a lot to having another baby. I love everything about my little Calvin. I really really do. But the truth is that having a baby changes things up a lot. You're all of the sudden on a new schedule and you have another little person to care for and keep happy. You sort of lose yourself... well you give yourself to this new baby. You can imagine that baby #2 threw me for a bit of a loop considering that I love my consistent schedule and my me-time. Anyhow... generally I feel like I adjust really well after having a baby. Minus one important thing... staying on top of my spiritual well-being. After I have a baby I am all sorts of motivated to eat healthy and exercise. I get out and about to stay sane. I really do feel like things go well for the most part. Unfortunately... I have always struggled with my "spiritual upkeep" and so having a baby made that even harder.

When I say "spiritual upkeep" I mostly mean being consistent with my scripture study and prayer. I don't know why it's always been hard for me but I have some ideas. It's partially because I probably goofed off in seminary too much and never "learned" how to study. It's partially because I have never found a good time in the day that works best. It's partially because I have (and always have had) a hard time focusing while reading/studying unless it's quiet.... aka nap time but all you mommas know the struggle of deciding what to do during precious nap time. It's partially because I just don't know where to start. It's not because I don't want to study. I really do. I know that when I do study the scriptures that I am blessed with guidance on how to be a better wife and mother. I am blessed with the spirit and I am more patient and loving. I have seen this happen in my life as I have studied... so what has been the hang up? Why have I been in this slump?

A few weeks ago I finally realized (after multiple swift kicks in the bum by general authorities, etc.) that I needed to stop wasting time not bettering myself through scripture study. It was time to make things happen and figure it out. And so I just sat down with my scriptures and said a prayer pleading with my Father in Heaven that he would guide my thoughts and actions and that I would be able to study and learn what I personally needed to learn. And sure enough that's exactly what happened. And that is what has happened every day for almost three weeks now. I haven't studied at the same time for any of those days but I am learning that either during Calvin's first nap or after bedtime is working well. Either way... the Lord answered my prayers. Because He loves me and wants me to become better. That's why He has given us this restored gospel. Because He loves us!

Today in Sunday school we talked about different attributes of Christ and our teacher made a great point about being sympathetic/empathetic and non-judgmental. She made the point that our whole lives we have been taught that we need to work our bums off so that we can get the best grades, scores, and times in school and sports, etc. We have been taught to be competitive and unfortunately that often translates over into our spiritual lives. But spiritually there is no competition. There is no first or second place. We are all working towards the same goal... returning to live with our families and our Father in Heaven. We need to lift one another up and serve and love one another so that we can all reach that goal.

I have been lifted up by wonderful examples in my life. Especially over the last six months when I just kept feeling more and more lame. I have been so blessed to be surrounded by wonderful people. I have been incredibly blessed to have a husband that loves and encourages me and leads by example in our home.

I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me. I know that part of that plan includes struggling with scripture study and prayer. I know that through these struggles I have developed a stronger testimony of the importance of scripture study and prayer. I'm so glad that I have this testimony to lean back on and rely on so that when/if I do fall back into a slump I can remember the joy, peace, and direction that scripture study and prayer brings me.

How blessed we are to have the restored gospel on the earth. We have temples where we can be sealed to our families for all eternity. We have prophets and apostles that lead Christ's church through revelation from God. We have prayer to communicate our needs and gratitude to God and we have the Book of Mormon and Bible through which God teaches us and answers our personal prayers.

There is no where else in the world where you can find the joy that Christ brings. He loves all of us and I am so grateful that He answers my prayers and blesses me... as lame and undeserving as I may feel, He is always there.

for this child we prayed

You guys, I cannot get out of this blogging slump! Writer's block to the max. Maybe it's because I'm hungry. I'mma go eat some lunch.

Okay. Let's do this...

We'll make things easy and finish up a post that I meant to post over a month ago... so...

Last Many Sunday(s ago) we had the opportunity to bless our baby Calvin while we were visiting my family for my sister's mission farewell. If you're not familiar with the traditions of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints then that first sentence was probably pretty loaded.

What is a baby blessing?

In the church we give infants a name and a blessing. It's not a saving ordinance like baptism or receiving your endowments but it's a nice way to name your infant for the records of the church and give him or her a blessing.

What is a mission farewell?

Worthy and prepared young men and young women can submit their "papers" to be assigned to share the restored gospel of Jesus Christ throughout the earth. The assignments are made by the leaders of the church. My sister has been assigned to served in the California, San Fernando mission speaking Spanish. Before missionaries leave on their 18 month-24 month missions they give their "mission farewell" to their ward (congregation). This farewell is basically a short sermon consisting of the missinary-to-be's testimony and their thoughts and feelings about leaving on a mission.

So.

My little sister gave her farewell in May and since lots of family would be attending we decided to do Calvin's baby blessing on the same day.

It worked out great and it was a beautiful day with lots of wonderful family.

And Todd gave Calvin a beautiful blessing. To be mindful of others and full of service. Our little guys really are so lucky to have such a great daddy to look up to.

Getting little Calvin Scott here took much longer than anticipated. Now that he has finally made it we couldn't be happier. He's the sweetest little ball of perfect baby. Seriously. I could... no, I do kiss on him all day and adore his little turned up nose and his strawberry blonde cul-de-sac hair. He's simply the most precious baby ever. I can't efficiently express my gratitude that the Lord answered our many prayers and blessed us with such a beautiful baby boy.

"For this child I prayed; and the Lord hath given me my petition which I asked of him."

1 Samuel 1:27

a 2014 Christmas: a la Idaho

Our Christmas break is quickly approaching it's end and the 2014 year only has a few hours left in it. Both our Christmas holiday and entire year have been spectacular. But for now I'll just overwhelm you with a million pictures from our time in Idaho with our ENTIRE family! Yeah!! We spent our first week in Pocatello and our second week in Jerome... and all were present. The returned missionary, the Thailander, the Canadians. It was wonderful! 

As promised... a dump of pictures...

Christmas Sunday after church... so much Christmas!

A much less glamorous, but delicious, day... Donut Day! I felt (feel) a lot bigger than I look.

Papa was the official roller-outer.

Don't worry, the donuts were Peter approved. (:

He also found great joy in snooping around the tree on Christmas Eve. I think we all know who 95% of those presents are for... I'll let grandma take the first guess. ;)

And of course...  you have to take another picture on Christmas Eve! Especially because Brennan had arrived to the party.

Peter wanted to be included.

Together again. Awwwww.

After we spent time with family and friends at Aunt Nat's house (one of my favorite Christmas traditions) we came back and read the nativity, had an impromptu talent show, and left milk'n'cookies out for Santa.

Two very wise men.

And thee most adorable shepherd you have ever seen. Ever.

Did Santa come?? Did Peter get his "fun toy??" The suspense!!

Stay tuned!

the second rodeo.

I always thought that once we had one baby we'd pretty much know a majority of the things that you needed to know about getting pregnant and physically having another baby. I thought that after experiencing it once we would pretty much know what changes my body would make the second time around and we'd know how to cope with these changes. Well I was quite wrong in these assumptions and have been nice and humbled over the last eighteen months.

As you probably know, Todd and I are indeed expecting our second child. We couldn't be filled with more excitement and gratitude for this next phase of parenthood. After getting pregnant with Mr. Peter very easily we thought that this time around would probably be similar... until it wasn't. We tried and tried and month after month there was no baby. We learned a lot through these months of heartache and disappointment about humility and trusting in the Lord and His plan for our family. At times I would think things like, "We must not be pregnant yet because the Lord knows we'll be moving to Utah a few months after the baby was born, and that would be ridiculous with a 3-month old." or "We must not be pregnant yet because we'd be due during finals and too close to my birthday (haha an important detail apparently?), and the Lord knows that would be too hard for us." It took a while for me to stop guessing what the Lord was up to and just trust that this, this fear of infertility, this waiting and aching and crying, this praying continually, this experience was the best for us. Trusting that the Lord wants the best for us. He wants us to learn and grow to reach this "best" so that we can eventually be uncomprehendingly happy. I learned that whatever we are going through is the best. Whatever it is we are experiencing it for a reason and it will help us get to whatever the Lord has in store for us if we are obedient and grow closer to our Savior through it all. 

As I mentioned, it wasn't just the getting pregnant part that threw us for a loop this time around. To sum things up... with your first baby your body (and pretty much your whole life really) is going through something new. New and exciting and it is such a miracle. With your second baby it's still a complete miracle but it isn't your first rodeo and your body knows it. I won't go into any details... not just because it will turn my husband red from head to toe but because it's so much fun to discover and experience these things on your own. Don't worry, it's nothing you won't be able to handle. (: I was surprised but how different this pregnancy has been so far compared to our first. It hasn't been polar opposite... just different. With Peter we didn't even believe that I was pregnant until we heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks. My first symptom wasn't until I started showing around 20 weeks. This time around my first trimester was filled with nausea, major food aversions, and all of those "second time around" body changes that I mentioned. My mother-in-law will tell you that means we're having a girl. And I believe it. But I guess we'll find out next month. (: Either way, we couldn't be happier and we can't wait to hold this little one in our arms. I can't even imagine going through years and years of waiting for a baby or having pain and sickness all three trimesters. Heaven bless those women who go through these not-so-fun experiences. Because they really aren't fun and you better believe that the only way to get through these hard times is to turn to the Lord and use His atonement to find peace and comfort.

And there I am... five weeks ago and barely out of the first trimester. And in complete disbelief that we've been blessed to make it this far... through an entire third of the pregnancy! We're still holding our breaths until we get to meet our sweet miracle baby... who is currently giving me happy little kicks to my insides to remind me that he/she's still there. (: 

p.s. that bump you see wasn't the baby quite yet... that's Peter refusing to fully leave my body. And I'm okay with that. I'm going to hold onto each and every precious pregnancy while I can.

callie comes to wisconsin: part dos.

Sometimes I forget to finish posting about stuff... like our awesome visit from Callie. Woooops. Anyway now that we live up the street from Callie and have seen her a few times since the following events I thought it would be good to just finish up this little series. Anywho...

Day two in Chicago was spent enjoying the temple, eating some insane grilled cheese sandwiches at The Big Cheese, and checking out Navy Pier.

Our last visit to the Chicago Temple... I'm sure some day we'll get to come back and visit. Still a sad good bye.

The real "big cheese" would be this child...

They also had some pretty sweet menu's made out of album covers. Oh Kenny G.

Navy Pier was a lot of fun and had lots of stuff to see. Like crack the whip statues. Callie is also a shoe nabber. 

Peter even got to take a ride on the carousel!

Peter LOVED looking at the water... or "wa-ee" as he calls it.

We also checked out the Smith Museum of Stained Glass Windows. I seriously was in awe with how beautiful the pieces were. Well-known artists' windows on display included Louis Comfort Tiffany and John LaFarge, as well as Chicago artists Ed Paschke and Roger Brown. Here are some of my favorites...

At the "family" section of the pier was a fountain... and we finally Peter run around in the water. He LOVED it! So much that he threw a lovely fit when we left. This kid just loves the "wa-ee!"

On our way home we made a great parenting move and stopped at Andy's for dinner. Yes... Andy's the frozen custard place. Hey, we were still full of carbs and such from the whole weekend of eating out and all we wanted was ice cream! Peter didn't complain either. I should mention that he is no longer in the 90th percentile for weight... but instead the 97th haha in the words of Dr. Hahn, "Looks like he's been eating well!" Yeah I didn't mention our outing to Andy's to him. Anyway...

A delicious weekend to say the least. Events post-Chicago included another polar vortex leading to lots of blankets and redbox. 

Thanks for coming to see us Callie! Want to like go to California tomorrow?? ;)