the second rodeo.

I always thought that once we had one baby we'd pretty much know a majority of the things that you needed to know about getting pregnant and physically having another baby. I thought that after experiencing it once we would pretty much know what changes my body would make the second time around and we'd know how to cope with these changes. Well I was quite wrong in these assumptions and have been nice and humbled over the last eighteen months.

As you probably know, Todd and I are indeed expecting our second child. We couldn't be filled with more excitement and gratitude for this next phase of parenthood. After getting pregnant with Mr. Peter very easily we thought that this time around would probably be similar... until it wasn't. We tried and tried and month after month there was no baby. We learned a lot through these months of heartache and disappointment about humility and trusting in the Lord and His plan for our family. At times I would think things like, "We must not be pregnant yet because the Lord knows we'll be moving to Utah a few months after the baby was born, and that would be ridiculous with a 3-month old." or "We must not be pregnant yet because we'd be due during finals and too close to my birthday (haha an important detail apparently?), and the Lord knows that would be too hard for us." It took a while for me to stop guessing what the Lord was up to and just trust that this, this fear of infertility, this waiting and aching and crying, this praying continually, this experience was the best for us. Trusting that the Lord wants the best for us. He wants us to learn and grow to reach this "best" so that we can eventually be uncomprehendingly happy. I learned that whatever we are going through is the best. Whatever it is we are experiencing it for a reason and it will help us get to whatever the Lord has in store for us if we are obedient and grow closer to our Savior through it all. 

As I mentioned, it wasn't just the getting pregnant part that threw us for a loop this time around. To sum things up... with your first baby your body (and pretty much your whole life really) is going through something new. New and exciting and it is such a miracle. With your second baby it's still a complete miracle but it isn't your first rodeo and your body knows it. I won't go into any details... not just because it will turn my husband red from head to toe but because it's so much fun to discover and experience these things on your own. Don't worry, it's nothing you won't be able to handle. (: I was surprised but how different this pregnancy has been so far compared to our first. It hasn't been polar opposite... just different. With Peter we didn't even believe that I was pregnant until we heard the heartbeat at 12 weeks. My first symptom wasn't until I started showing around 20 weeks. This time around my first trimester was filled with nausea, major food aversions, and all of those "second time around" body changes that I mentioned. My mother-in-law will tell you that means we're having a girl. And I believe it. But I guess we'll find out next month. (: Either way, we couldn't be happier and we can't wait to hold this little one in our arms. I can't even imagine going through years and years of waiting for a baby or having pain and sickness all three trimesters. Heaven bless those women who go through these not-so-fun experiences. Because they really aren't fun and you better believe that the only way to get through these hard times is to turn to the Lord and use His atonement to find peace and comfort.

And there I am... five weeks ago and barely out of the first trimester. And in complete disbelief that we've been blessed to make it this far... through an entire third of the pregnancy! We're still holding our breaths until we get to meet our sweet miracle baby... who is currently giving me happy little kicks to my insides to remind me that he/she's still there. (: 

p.s. that bump you see wasn't the baby quite yet... that's Peter refusing to fully leave my body. And I'm okay with that. I'm going to hold onto each and every precious pregnancy while I can.